Girl Talk: The Female Brain

Disclaimer: The views in this piece are my very own and I am not generalizing myself anywhere. People who disagree may rightfully do so.

If ever there was an Idiot’s Guide to a Woman’s Brain, it would be no doubt, the World’s no.1 bestseller. It would be the biggest hit of all publishing time, a guidebook to unravel the complicated thought process of the feminine mind. But alas! It is one of the biggest natural mysteries I would say. (Being a girl myself, I have to admit sometimes my own brain does things I cannot fathom.).I am mostly clueless to the question “Where in the world did that come into your head from?” I cannot simply understand more often than not my own girl-friends, my mom or even my sister. The least I can do is pick up feeble indications of a storm approaching and hide myself and the others from the wrath.

A male brain on the other hand, I find fairly simple to unravel. Nothing is very unpredictable (unless of course insanity prevails which is a different domain altogether) or uncertain. I haven’t done those numerous researches on male and female brains and seen what they think of or respond (though Sandeep did show me a very interesting piece on sex and the male brain) but from my own experiences here is what I can discover for myself.

A male brain works somewhat digitally. It is 0 or 1, black or white, yes or no, this or that (to the absolute dismay of all the females in the world). The answers are monosyllabic most of the time and conversations are minimal. Women on the other hand believe not in black or white but all the shades of grey in between. (True masters of Fuzzy logic) I truly believe that of the two, women are more sociable and of course the more ferocious too. There is always that pinch of compassion, that slight concern for their image or self-respect, the prevailing memory of the last of such a situation and say five other parallel-ly operating thought processes which make the female brain not only capable of multi-tasking, but also analyzing the situation from every aspect, past, present or future.

I believe that the male brain is the easier one to de-code. Their brain might be closer to a computer than we think. I mean positively too. They are quick at numerical analysis, thinking in terms of numbers or codes or even programming algorithms (Of course girls are there too who are better than them…but again I’m talking in terms of the majority). But give them an abstract situation, a blam! They’ll fall flat on their faces. No wonder all the studies might show that women make better managers or decision makers which needs abstract imaginations, human emotional decoding and person to person connection. Of course, fuzzy logic is something that comes naturally to us women. 😀

I somehow though never understand the concept of the male-female relationship guide books. Though they make good reads on long journeys and their memory lasts long enough for just a chuckle, I wonder how many can actually remember the points and rules they make. But this is what I learnt from my relationships, successful ones and even the ones that went sour, never try to decode the other person’s head. Let it be a woman, let it be a man. Of course, we all rely on some degree of prediction in behavior (again I’m bordering between the sane and insane kind of predictivity). But to a larger extent, I believe the world is a much better place with all the surprises it can spring on you.

Predictivity in behaviour leads to expectations which in turn leads to the ultimate doom in any relationship, between friends, lovers, couples and what not. I never understand the point of boys asking the friends of the girl they are interested in, about the girl and her hobbies and ways to impress her ( trust me, I have been in this situation countless number of times and weirdly I haven’t found too many girls enquiring about the boys but maybe that is because of the skewed sex-ratio), not willing to listen to me that perhaps she should like you for what you are and the way you think of doing anything for her instead of a taught and rehearsed routine which would be too obviously pre-planned and detected. Undeniably, the co-existence of males and females so far owes its success to this guessing-game and thrill of surprises that each spring on each other.

I find it really easy to pick up a fight with boys. I have done that since childhood. I was the ultimate male-basher who started off with physical fights and later moved on to annoying them verbally or intellectually. They called me different names over the years (they became really interesting and colorful in college). But I simply love the disparity in our thinking. The way I chuckle at how simply they can look at things or look at them gawking at the layers we can add to a situation to make it so complicated they simply nod their heads in disbelief. Like how a top or a shirt in a shop would make a girl think all the way to the shades, the closest color she has, if the color exists in her wardrobe, if the people would like it, how many compliments she might receive, which jean she can wear it with, till where will it come, will it make her look fat or thin, if she needed jeans to go with it now, who wore a similar clothing, if the color will wear off, if the color would suit her skin, if she can wear it to college and so on and on…all this in a space of two seconds or less while looking at it. (I don’t know how guys shop honestly and find their clothes very boring to shop for: P) But I am sure their heads don’t travel all around the globe to decide. It is fantastic isn’t it? I love it when everyone I meet tells me “Don’t think so much”, but I actually want to tell them this is natural, I haven’t even started thinking! Some times complicating things helps (like shopping) and sometimes it doesn’t.

So here is a handy tip to all the boys, don’t even TRY decoding the female brain. Just enjoy it while it is cool and run for your lives when it is not! You should be able to survive.
Find ways to cool her down instead! 😀 (Never mind the reasons for the flare up)

PS: All this might seem too abstract or obvious or a waste of blog space to many, but it definitely is not the answer to the ultimate question of the universe: What we are, what is life all about and why do we exist?
The answer to that by the way is the number: 42 *

PPS: Give me work somebody!!!!

* Courtesy: Hitchhiker’s guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams.


7 thoughts on “Girl Talk: The Female Brain

  1. “Predictivity in behaviour leads to expectations which in turn leads to the ultimate doom in any relationship, between friends, lovers, couples and what not” – as I read this I almost imagined myself listening to one of those bearded gurus who warm up mornings on national TV.

    PS: Give her work somebody!

  2. Hmmm…it looked like you were getting started on a guide book yourself… :-p

    thanks for the advise though… 🙂

    and yes, someone definitely needs to give you work!!!

  3. @Amrit and Antimony: Yeah I agree I need work, but I believe the post wasnt all that gibberish enough.
    @Nalini: Thanks 🙂

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