Where is the goodness gone?

“There are too many people, and too few human beings” – Robert Zend.

I find this line particularly true. As I look around me, in fact sometimes even introspect, I feel that true goodness of a person’s heart has almost ceased to exist. In this extremely competitive world, where competition is on the verge of even turning nasty, we have forgotten what it is to be good human beings. A good and genuine person. I remember agreeing wholeheartedly with Holden ( J.D Salinger’s masterpiece) as he groaned about phony people. To my utter disgust, I find them all around me. Every relationship seems to have a motive (like befriending students with cars in hopes of hitching a free ride) to even more serious commitments of money, power and a comfortable lifestyle. I know people who target those ahead of them, try their best to screw around with their work and then surge ahead and no longer bat an eyelid at their once-upon-a-time-friends. So it is my turn to ask, how long are we going to continue being phony?

I know toppers who are the nastiest and most unhelpful people to ensure that they remain ahead in their race, leaving their competitors behind.Can they be called nice people? If they are not, how come they do better in life than the really nice ones? I know people who lie about achievements, who use people to get their knowledge and later dump them faster than a Pepsi can. I know people who befriend certain others to ensure their comfort for the time being and once their work is done, refuse to recognize them. One can no longer genuinely reveal information about anything because you pray that the other doesn’t find out more than you did and God forbid, get ahead of you. You can’t trust their motives, their words. You can see through friendships and relationships as being solely for a particular reason. Is this growing up or hypocrisy? Sometimes, I remain confused.

Genuine people are those who help and expect nothing in return. People who know very well that they are going to be let down sometime in the future and still continue to help. I know this lovely couple who lives close to campus and take all efforts to drive Indian students to the far away Indian groceries fortnightly for free. They email, pick you and drop you from wherever you live and even invite you to these amazing Christmas, thanksgiving dinners and spoil you with a multitude of dishes. I know students who remain indifferent to their help and treat them like chauffeurs. I also know Indians who crash their parties and call their friends shamelessly in front of the hosts “hey FREE FOOD!! Come FAST!”. They have been experiencing this for so many years now. But still they continue to dole out gifts and dinners and help with the groceries which would have been impossible to shop for otherwise. Now that’s what I call selfless. They have no resumes to maintain, nothing to prove to anyone and yet they help. I am inspired by those people. I really am.

I signed up for volunteering for the Atlanta humane society because I love animals. This is my way for making up for lost time with my dearest Whisky and I long for responsive animal company (hamster spinning on a wheel or a fish or plants don’t really count!). I heard two guys talking ” Eeks! I hate animals man, cant do it.” The other stately told him ” Dude, its just for two months, smell the shit for now then we’ll smell the money.” Yeah right, I thought. You will tolerate an animal for putting it in your resume and appearing like this fake considerate person while in reality who knows?! That is my point. Things are at a juncture where if it can’t be proved, its okay to lie and fake. How much of all this can the world take? How many people (Indians, I am ashamed to say) will copy and get grades here while the other honest students seethe with anger. (Its another story that a huge Indian brigade got caught for the same and were punished). Now we fake our resumes, our grades, our relationships and even ourselves?

I’m not perfect either. I know I might have come across as someone as inconsiderate or ungrateful at times but trust me people (especially those I’ve offended) I meant nothing of it. I look for real love (that’s why I love my dog more than anything else since I know he will love me no matter what I am or become, rich or poor, beautiful or ugly), real knowledge and real relationships. I want friends whom I can speak my mind and feel lighter instead of worrying about how the news might benefit them, I want parties where everyone remains their true self and I want people to be genuine. Yeah right, I might also wish for world peace and destroying terrorism now that I am at it. Sigh. Come back to reality Nita. Ive to hunt for those true people I’m looking for. But I’m optimistic, I’ll find em. For the others, nothing in me will change.


6 thoughts on “Where is the goodness gone?

  1. You put things my thoughts in words in this post, i wonder how hard it is to remain nice. And then i think the only thing i will probably be good at is teaching lil kids moral science.

    I live by something which Aishwarya Rai of all people said in an interview : Its nice to be important but its more important to be nice. šŸ˜‰

  2. the words in ur post are so true.. at least for me, i am becoming more and more of a pessimist and a non-believer in friendships/relationships.. everybody fakes and hurts (including me)

    1. Nita, in today’s age, honesty might not be the best policy but it is a luxury. Not everyone can afford it. If you can, you are lucky!

  3. See Thats how the world is, its grey & black, nobodys white. & what i have experienced is that when we comment in general we generally comment on the bad things or the very good things around us. For example, people who does all this do some really good stuff in there lives too, its just situational that u see either the bad or the good stuff & we draw conclusions not wrt individuals but wrt ideologies. I will say assume there is White in everybody just that we are not the one who saw that in him/her, makes it easier to live with fellow people & at times understand why they act grey.

  4. Why do you call it phony? I call it human psychology. Its the result of the society and the economy that we grow in. If the employers (who know 50% of the resume is fake!) pay attention to such shit over genuineness of a person in an interview, well the employees are obviously going to do it. The basic is not to help others, but to feed and do well for yourself, and thats why people act like that. As for friends – they are people who might have different ‘motives’ in life as you, but will choose to live life the way you do.

    And one thing, since you talk of no expectations, try and reduce your expectations from people… worked for me!

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