Call it the TP syndrome or the Chewing Gum analogy, but both essentially refer to the same phrase – Use and Throw.
I recently was at the receiving end of this sort of treatment, being disillusioned into friendship – going all out and helping said person, before being thrown out of the window without the slightest hesitation. I felt hurt and bad, thought of all things I shouldn’t have ever done had I paid heed to those who suffered the same previously at the hands of that person. But there is this nasty feeling called hope, where u mysteriously hope and falsely reassure yourself that said person wont do this to you and feel like absolute trash when it happens. I never understand people. I realize that perhaps a little self-centering is essential and being selfish is what allowed evolution to occur, but I tend to believe that there are always those really really close people, whom you are truthful to. Its okay to be formal and ask for mild help from people you don’t know, but faking friendship only to get your work done easily is heights of selfishness!
I have met so many people who have used me. Come to me and begged for help and not so much batted an eyelid afterwards, come in the middle of the night to ask help with exams and after its done pretend that I’m invisible or feign deafness when being called out to. I thought I had gotten used to it and gone beyond expecting things from people in return but when a supposed friend delivers that blow, it still shakes your faith in anyone at all. This is more rampant now that people are applying to universities and need help from those experienced. It is okay to inquire about the general state of affairs here, the system etc, but its NOT ok to randomly ask people to rewrite your SOP’s, bug them incessantly on chat for days till your admit comes and then leave them in the lurch completely. When you are friends with someone, it is okay to ask, but I realize some tactful people make friends for solely this purpose. So I’ve come up with the best way to keep my sanity intact. I’m NOT helping people anymore. I thought I would make an exception for people I call friends, but now I’m doubting that capability too.
Its not only me who has been through this. There are countless people who’ve suffered at the hands of such people and learnt their lesson. As I spoke to a friend for consolation, she assured me that this is normal and she had suffered from this multiple times. Also, that what such people lack is conscience, but then there is hardly anything we can do except excercise caution.
I’m not your fair-weather friend, though in my case,I should rather say I’m the bad-weather friend. People come to me when they are in doubt, in tension, worried and gladly omit me from their lives when they are happy, only to return when calamity strikes. I might not be the brightest person in predicting people’s behaviour but I’m definitely smart enough to adhere to “Once bitten, twice shy”.
So long people, call me names if you will but now its your turn to see my MEAN side. If you’ve already seen it, then so be it.