I recently read a fabulous blog which concludes in this absolutely true statement.
A man is the sum of his ex-girlfriends.
I so agree. She then talks about (yes, it has to be a girl’s blog right?) how you actually do good karma when you “train” a man well. I firmly believe a relationship changes both parties involved. While thousands of wife jokes do the rounds with marriage being described as end of happy times, I think the happy times end for the girl as well. You are suddenly thrust into this scenario where you have most of the responsibility ( oh yea now male chauvinists can flare up) and a late-twenty to early-thirty year old to take care of. Bah. Wait, I’m digressing from the topic.
Exes are always a touchy topic. I call them the ‘X-files’. I never know what is the best way to deal with it or if one should open those files at all. I know of a friend’s older sibling who got married recently and being the extreme shy and docile girl she is, never inquired about her suitor’s past. It is funny how one can just block out the past years of your existence and start fresh. I always want to know because I firmly believe in that one line about you being a sum of your exes. I agree it is uncomfortable- almost like excavating all the past memories,the past happiness, joys everything. But I’d rather be with a man who has an X-file much rather than not. Because the most important thing a relationship teaches you is compromise and I am not ready to teach someone that.
I’ve learnt a lot about relationships from my past. I have transitioned slowly from a doormat to someone who knows what she can now live with. When I look back at my college self, I wonder how naive I could be.
So girls, I think it is a good thing to have a past. Because, in reality most of us don’t end up with our first crushes/loves. If your guy has a past too, stop fretting about it and learn from it. It is loads better than being with someone who has none!
Disclaimer: My opinions only. Also, mostly meant for girls.
PS: Reason for posts on consecutive days is a bad cold and cough.